Date: April 13th, 2010
Location: Manchester, UK
Upon deciding on attending a gig by a selection of bands generally despised by writers Paul Smith and Zach Redrup, the two decide to attend and review the show together with the first ever duo-reviewed DEAD PRESS! attended show. Zach wrote the more professional and ‘proper’ review, and Paul… well… he wrote it in a more informal and chatty kind of way, and even went to describe the happenings of the whole day. This people is their day out!
Zach Redrup, as well as being webmaster and head reviewer of this fine website, is a friend, verbal punching bag and no less a bandmate of mine. So we occasionally socially interact, and at such times we are occasionally drunk. It is during a drunken time that I agreed to one of the stranger experiences of my life. I say agree, but in reality I demanded completely.
As hotshot super independent journo, Zach gets guestlist and stuff to gigs and events and that so that he can review them, and sometimes even interview the band in question. When he told me he had received such a thing from the PR of the legendary Brokencyde (whom I had given this glowing review to), I “bagsied” (I know, right?) the right to the +1 guestlist, should Zach receive such a thing to that particular performance, and so he did. He gave me a cheeky text to find out if I was still available once he’d received final confirmation, and I suddenly remembered my drunken demand to be given the right to attend this spectacular show. I didn’t want to ‘pussy out’ on my show of drunken bravado, so I consented, and the date was set.
Now, the show in question was part of a lengthy, very very lengthy co-headline tour the Brokesters were on with Jeffree Star, and Zach reviewed it properly (as is not like a rambling story like me) here. So you can tell the kind of quality we’re talking here. So I toddle into Manchester to meet young Zach and we head to the Manchester Academy where the show is taking place, having been upgraded from Academy Numero Tres to El Club Academy. We had this interview to do with them beforehand and as it came to the time to do it we get a phone call from the tour manager dude (which may be being generous) telling us it’s gonna be delayed, because they have shit to do, like smoke weed by the smell of their dressing room. They’re rock and roll like that you see. Or crunk and roll. Or something.
So as we depart, being stared at by the queue, some of which who had been there since about noon (it’s now 6pm at this point), a queue full of some of the sceniest scenesters that I had ever scene… um… seen, we decided a few pints are needed. This is to settle our nerves before we meet the crunkcore megastars you see. So drink we do before we go back to the Academy at the rescheduled time given.
On our way there, Zach is awesomely mistaken for a member of Brokencyde, by some fifteen year old girl who is absolutely destroyed. Her equally destroyed friends join her and Zach for a picture to remember these happy times, and I’m delighted to oblige in taking the picture. Good times, great memories. Yet another phone call reveals that more super serial goings on are happening inside the Brokencyde and Jeffree Star dressing room. Now we retire to McDonalds, which had apparently converted to Affleck’s Palace judging by its current clientele. And we ate like Kings, Kings I tell you. Then, after finding out that our interview had been delayed again, we drank, and we talked a lot of shit, including an entertaining story about licking a condom.
So as it gets to like 7pm, where we are supposed to get escorted to our interview, we wait, and we wait, and we wait, and we get delayed again. They must have been having a long soundcheck, serious issues, or a fucking massive spliff. We are sent to the back of the queue to wait to do the interview insidebefore we are miraculously told to go through the back door. We walk in and get something close to stoned just from the sheer green clouds all over the dressing room. Support act Synthetic Season were about to go on. The tour manager dude thought we were there to interview Jeffree Star. Now that would have been an interview. When we said “aw hell naw” we just got given to Mikl (five star spelling of that name if I’ve ever seen it) who was sitting quietly on his own prior to us coming in. Mickles as I decided to affectionately name him was just generally a nice guy, gave some very standard answers and looked exactly the opposite of what I expected. You know, he just looked like a normal dude. Not like that braggadocios Se7en character. It would have been cool if he didn’t give five second answers and didn’t look thoroughly disinterested in talking to us, but thems the breaks.
So then the gig itself. We get in guestlist style, ’cause we pimp like that, and just in time to see the beginning of Synthetic Season. Unfortunately this dude really cannot sing or anything. It was actually very boring electro-pop/rock, and it wasn’t as offensive as Zach thought it was but it was pretty bland, yet the crowd loved it. All the little girls that made up most of the crowd went mental and jumped about and shit. Not a bad reaction for a support act.
Next came the Brokencyders themselves. The reaction they got was possibly the highest pitched thing I have ever heard. Seriously, these girls screamed themselves hoarse for them. The way they played was like a screamo boyband as they were just in a line, looking fresh or something on stage with a laptop, none of them actually playing anything and just kind of screaming, and they got a very boyband worthy reaction. They asked if anyone was horny, they asked if people were drunk and/or high, and also made penis jokes and gay jokes and other such things. I swear, if I did these things people would just be largely offended. They played their classics like ‘Freaxxx’, their beautiful and soulful cover of ‘Sexy Bitch’ (screaming over the original backing track), and they ended their set with my personal favourite, a song that touches my very heart; the tear inducing ‘Bree Bree’. A wonderful song, one that you should look into if you’re still yet to hear it’s beauty.
Next up was Jeffree Star. Now this was just really, really bad. The music was all the same thing (it all sounded vaguely like the start of ‘Blue Monday’ by New Order) and you know that dude or dudette was just… really annoying. Not over the top or offensive just a bit like, I don’t know, irritating, and I told myself if I really want to go see an emo transvestite act, it better blow my mind. But it didn’t, I was severely disappointed. It was almost as if he was a real person and not the ridiculous monster I had expected. Oh well, basically all the songs sounded the same, and that was bad.
Anyway, the story here is that if you get chance to see this act (I guess you probably won’t now) don’t miss out. It’s quite something. I’m not sure exactly what, but it was definitely something.
Written by Paul Smith