EP: The Monsters I’ve Met – Lights Out!

Release Date: October 31st, 2012
Label: Unsigned
Website: None available
Facebook: www.facebook.com/themonstersivemet
Twitter: None available


The Monsters I’ve Met don’t do much well, but they exceed at triggering déjà vu. Almost every aspect of ‘Lights Out!’ is so rooted in 2008 electronicore that it feels treacherous to our teenage years to dislike it, but dislikable it is. ‘Intro’ is a by-the-numbers take on dubstep/BMTH-ambience, as opposed to the Europop so beloved of four years ago. That’s worth at least one mark, so, well done for that.

The track leads into ‘Sink Or Swim’ carrying a complete lack of subtlety, the band failing to marry the myriad elements of their sound in a listenable fashion a la Enter Shikari; all too often it sounds like Attack Attack! offcuts tacked onto a new Dance Dance Revolution game. This is to say nothing of the actual recording quality of the EP, with frontman Aaron‘s Cookie Monster-ing sounding somehow more processed than what 14-year old YouTube vocal coverers refer to as his ‘cleans’.

Evidently, The Monsters I’ve Met is a group reliant upon technology, if only for the vocal morphing (and ‘morphing’ is the only apt word here) into a dubstep breakdown, then guitar breakdown in the latter half of the title track. There’s precious little deviation from the abortion of a blueprint they’re working from: little-to-no songwriting coherence, uninspired lyrics, seemingly enjoyable to only mosh-shorted, braindead xbrosteppersx. So, again, largely referral to 2008. That is until the final track, ‘Every Word You Said’, worthy of its own paragraph.

This is what happens if they only take Lil B’s new age material as inspiration, but not good. This is an egomaniacal feat of Aaron accompanying himself on vocals, unless there’s a guest vocalist they’ve been too inept to label. This is what would’ve happened if Jonny Craig had been allowed to write all of Emarosa‘s music, instead of taking breaks to work at PC World. This is what would’ve happened if 2008 bands decided to not only fully pillage post-hardcore and electronica, but R&B as well.
This is a track so disgustingly saccharine that I bet it wouldn’t even crack the charts for its falseness.

All it serves as is evidence that The Monsters I’ve Met are an amazingly elaborate joke on an awful time in heavy music, beyond any ha-ha-self-aware notions of crabcore. Either that, or the band has little conception of irony, leading to this track being a product of utter sincerity.

Overall, ‘Lights Out!’ exhumes a horrid time in post-hardcore, with even most progenitors of that bleep-boop niche leaving it behind. That said, MySpace and awful clothes (Built For Sin ≠ streetwear) are apparently on the comeback trail… with this, The Monsters I’ve Met, we beg: please, not like this.

Written by Fin Murphy