ALBUM: Miley Cyrus – Bangerz

Release Date: October 7th, 2013
Label: RCA


Now that Miley Cyrus has jumped labels and left behind her days as Hannah Montana with Disney, she is (within reason, kinda) free to do whatever the fuck she wants through her “debut” ‘Bangerz’ and, based on her current escapades, what she wants is to show the world that she is grown up, can twerk against Robin Thicke‘s crotch and sing about going to clubs and sex and stuff. Perhaps I’m being a bit too harsh on this 20-year-old but, then again, if she thinks that she’s old enough to sing about scoffing down drugs, she’s old enough to handle a bit of criticism too.

There are three kinds of tracks on this album. First, there are tracks that downright atrocious and should Billy Rae Cyrus (Miley‘s father) happen to listen to any of them, I’m sure he would want to kill himself just so he could turn in his grave quicker. Then there are the songs that start off promising, but then are ruined by a string of forced provocative lyrics or some unnecessary guest appearance from a jumped up homeboy. But, then there are songs that are surprisingly decent and even enjoyable in places.

More than half of the tracks on ‘Bangerz’ are a total write-off. They’re nothing more than formulaic bullshit with predictable beats, mind-numbingly generic lyrics and are just a copy-paste of what’s already available. The likes of ‘SMS (Bangerz)’, ‘Love Money Party’, ‘Do My Thang’ and ‘Drive’ are there to be sold and nothing more. Unfortunately, these are the only songs you’ll hear from Miley, as they’re ideal for the charts and clubs despite having the musical integrity of a wet fart.

Then there are the tracks that have potential to be tolerable, but then just turn dire. A prime example is ‘4×4’, which has a wonderful country vibe and gives Miley a chance to show off that wonderful southern voice of hers. But, as soon as you start to get into it, things just turns to shit. After a catchy, rhythmic intro, the verse kicks in with lyrics like “Driving so fast, ’bout to piss on myself”, and then Nelly pops up from nowhere to delight us with his shit rap about joy riding and “niggers”.

Finally, we get to the tracks that are genuinely good and even a little bit enjoyable. One of big singles ‘Wrecking Ball’, is simply a well-constructed pop song. It’s catchy and relatively inoffensive on the ears, as Miley‘s voice sings loud and true. Though, the main saving grace here is ‘Maybe You’re Right’, a bold powerpop song that will stun you with Miley‘s beautiful southern-belle voice. Sounding like Dolly Parton at times and accompanied by a delicate piano in the verses, this song is perhaps the only example of Miley as an artist, but, then again, it was written by a team of six writers, so she hasn’t quite earned that title yet.

Considering ‘Bangerz’ herself as her first debut record and her first opportunity to truly portray herself as an independent popstar, in that essence Miley Cyrus succeeded in her mission. However, as previously mentioned, there’s an alarmingly small amount to take from this. Before you do write-off completely, give ‘Maybe You’re Right’ and, if you have time, ‘Adore You’ a listen, since these songs are most likely to be skipped over by the moronic demographic this album is targeted at.

Written by Andy Roberts