There are some albums which are so intricately written and amazingly performed that the review basically writes itself. If you could for one second, imagine the very opposite of that, then we have Brokencyde. Half of the title is correct, as any “band” who release this nonsense, are definitely guilty, most likely of both breach of the peace to anyone daft enough to buy their albums, and also of several animal cruelty laws, as the high pitched melody here will be driving almost every species of dog to the brink of suicide. Pleasure, however, is an emotion which will only be felt by sado-masochists, who are brave enough to torture themselves throughout this album and make it to the end of thirteen of the most awful songs in production.
The good news however, is that if you like Brokencyde, you will love it. However, if you like Brokencyde, then the words ‘good news’ maybe shouldn’t be brought into any linking vocabulary. This album is probably the weakest album you could ever punish yourself with. ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’ is probably the worst song I’ve heard this year, out of a very, very poor thirteen songs on this album. It is trademark Brokencyde; irritatingly auto-tuned vocals, very bad repetitive synth and the least creative or inspiring lyrics you could ever think of.
I would say a monkey could have written this album, however, if anyone who has ever spent five minutes with a monkey heard the comparison, I would probably face a lot of complaints. There are so many other songs on this album, which will make you appreciate almost every other type of music that you previously disliked in comparison to this utter rubbish, ‘Ocean View’ and ‘Whoah!’ namely, however, I could sit here and rhyme off the tracklist as thirteen reasons not to listen to Brokencyde.
The band get one out of ten for being clever enough to somehow be granted permission to unleash this pile of garbage to the world. However, ultimately my advice is if you possess a pair of ears, then Brokencyde is most definitely not for you.
Written by Gary Cassidy